Wednesday, October 7, 2009

two pairs of eyes...

two pairs of eyes
locked together
in intense gaze

the silence is palpable
dense with weight of the unspoken
feel it, touch it

the moment if fleeting
eyes are averted
it's over. it's all over.

Haunting memories linger.


Adelaide Dupont said...

"Dense with weight of the unspoken" is terrific.

But I don't know about the commanding tone I feel in 'feel it, touch it' in the next line.

The last stanza is good and so is the first. Really shows you the look of love. (If there's a poetic way of saying it).

shrutanne said...

Adelaide!!!!!!! from where!!!!!! it's been aeons... how did you even know that I updated my blog!!!!
well, thanks so much for the comments, I find them very encouraging... and do suggest an alternative line for "feel it, touch it" in case you can come up with something...

anj said...

it captures a real moment, but you need to find new, fresh ways of saying things like 'dense with weight of the unspoken' and 'haunting memories linger'.