Dream Terror (a sonnet)

My first sonnet ever!! I was so excietd yesterday when I wrote it!!

dunno if I succeeded though.... here it goes...

Dream Terror

Often have I had gory dreams

Of being shut up in prison, of rape

Life threatening situations with no escape

Gruesome visions that oft made me scream.

But lately I had one of unspeakable horror

It was all the effect of Wilde's book

Dorian Gray took me off the hook

The dream made me weep and shudder with terror.

The one whom I love, I planned to kill her

I planned to kill her while I slept

The grossness of this I cannot forget

Cold, cruel, bloodthirsty murder.

"Please tell me she's alive, tell me she's not dead!!"

I cried out full of shame, repugnance, dread.

A Fruitless Search for Faith

You believe in jesus
in krishna, in ram
fasting, chanting, praying
you offer flowers to lakshmi's painted smile
taking it as benign and kind.

Faith fills voids, gaps in our selves
making us whole
fills gaps too in what we worship
Only completeness can give of
make us complete.

I have always been an atheist
agnostic, free thinker, whatever
a disbeliever.
I never believed in god.

I have faith in a woman
in pain, in fear
in times of trouble
I believe in her.

gathering shards of my broken self
filling empty spaces in me
making myself whole, through her
my image of completeness.

But a woman has no painted
I can imagine as benign and kind
she breaks me into a million shards
and I struggle to make myself whole
through her.

Ironical. Paradoxical.
Life has made me cynical.
a wry smile on my face,
I wonderwho was the bigger fool
You or I.

do give me responses!! and tell me if there are lines I should cut, edit, or change!!